It seems like all the bad ones get the good in life. Jesus said their's is now, yours is in heaven. I struggle to breathe, to keep fighting the fight. Not tapping into the strongest source I know that's right. So many tears I've cried day and night. What is wrong with me? Why don't I cling to God successfully? Tired of all the worldly choices and the chatter. Too scared to take a stand for who really matters. Claiming woke but really are sleeping giants. I guess it's hard to accept the suffering. Knowing that for Jesus it was everything. Wanting to build the kingdom while the world is tearing it down. Living this life just to get my crown. Why are all of my choices the wrong ones? Fumbling in darkness waiting on the sun. I know I have to follow God's plan but I must confess in years past I wasn't a fan. Oh God save me from myself heal me through and through. No gifts given in vain or dying a fool. Make me over change me so that I listen. You've never changed, forever extending forgiveness. To tighten my relationship with God is my mission. He knows my heart and hears the Confessions of a Christian.