A Poem: Still Believing

So many times, I gave away what God gave me to people undeserving

Such a naive girl was I

Seeking validation from souls who didn't know who they truly were

I felt my worth was between my legs because that is what I was taught by my father, separated by blood

Not understanding it was wrong, I longed for his touch because I thought he was the daddy who cared

Looking back on those moments, I find fault with myself

Why am I so angry within? I've forgiven the men that sinned by using my body

The aftermath of those moments was the catalyst for my sin

A seed planted that has taken root

Sinning against my body long before I would've been

Today I wonder who I would be had this not happened

Would I be more successful, less depressed, and anxiety-free?

Would I have had less dependence on Thelma and Louise to pray and come through for me?

Ask me would I take it back, knowing what I know now

Today I find strength in my experience, and besides, changing the past isn't allowed

I walk a lonely road because I simply refuse to follow the crowd

Still chasing for peace from the Lord

Forgiving myself has been oh, so hard!

But as I look to the hills from whence cometh my help

I still have hope that my journey has not been in vain

I still believe that God has use for all this pain

I still believe in Your Son who died so I could be free

And I still believe that You have a place prepared just for me!

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