Have you ever questioned your authenticity? Have you ever asked yourself, am I being genuine in my interactions with people? Stop and take a moment to really reflect on the questions being asked. Let the question marinate in your spirit before answering yourself. If you are completely honest with yourself, I am pretty positive you will find a moment, or two, or even a handful of times where you weren't "keeping it real." I know I have. In moments of depression, I would subconsciously put on a mask in my interactions with people pretending to be okay. As a result of that subconscious action in my mentality, I also began to put on a mask with God in my spirituality. I have struggled with the concept of sincerity when it comes to my relationship with God. There have always been parts of me that I have hidden from others out of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and just sheer, utter disgust within myself. I found a small comfort in sitting in that darkness for a long time. My physical being began to experience sickness symptoms because of the emotional and spiritual baggage I was carrying. I knew then that I had to start putting in the effort to clear away the issues and trauma that prompted some of my indiscretions. I honestly called on God like never before, and in my prayer, I asked the Lord to help me be sincere in my relationship with Him and other people. The things you desire spiritually are there for the asking!
You only have to ask. "Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God".(Phil 4:6 NET) I will insert a word of caution, DO NOT be like me, expecting instantaneous results. The road to sincerity is a process if that is your struggle. A process meaning you can't slack on your journey! Continue praying and seeking the face of God. Over time you will begin to notice the changes that you have been praying for. You will see that God really does listen and hear your every groan. I am still in the process of becoming the woman God wants me to be. I am learning more and more as I take this journey in my Christian walk. It's not easy, and I drop the ball a few thousand times a day, but God truly is merciful. I would bet my life on that one.