Down The Rabbit Hole: My Addiction Story Part 1

I have been struggling with addiction off and on for the last twelve years. Not only substances, but behaviors as well. At this very moment I feel an anxiety about exposing myself like this; but I believe in order to be delivered and set free this is something that must be done. This revelation is not just for my deliverance, but the call to Jesus for others overwhelmed by a similar situation. It all started with one pill given to me for a headache at fourteen years old. Up until that moment I had been suffering with depression that stemmed from major issues like sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse. To say I was depressed is an understatement. I didn't know whether I was coming or going. I became this bitter, angry person that felt the world owed her something because she endured so much pain. Then here comes that 50 mg Tramadol tablet. I knew nothing about narcotic medication. I just took the medicine and waited for my headache to go away. Next thing I know I am laying down, feeling the best I ever have in my entire fourteen years of existence! I was captivated by its essence. I was ensnared in its many thickets of branches that were entangled like a web a spider has woven to catch its prey. Just that quickly, my feet jumped onto another path. I had been in pain just that long, that I abandoned the fact that God was still there for me. I just didn't believe it because I didn't see Him. I didn't feel His presence anymore. I felt the euphoria from that pill and all my pain was washed away. My life was forever changed and I made choices that I wish I could take back. To be continued...


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