Down The Rabbit Hole: My Addiction Story Part 1

I have been struggling with addiction off and on for the last twelve years. Not only substances but behaviors as well. At this very moment, I feel anxiety about exposing myself like this; but I believe in order to be delivered and set free, this is something that must be done. This revelation is not just for my deliverance but the call to Jesus for others overwhelmed by a similar situation. It all started with one pill given to me for a headache at fourteen years old. Up until that moment, I had been suffering from depression that stemmed from major issues like sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse. To say I was depressed is an understatement. I didn't know whether I was coming or going. I became this bitter, angry person that felt the world owed her something because she endured so much pain. Then here comes that 50 mg Tramadol tablet. I knew nothing about narcotic medication.

I just took the medicine and waited for my headache to go away. Next thing I know, I am lying down, feeling the best I ever have in my entire fourteen years of existence! I was captivated by its essence. I was ensnared in its many thickets of branches that were entangled like a web a spider has woven to catch its prey. Just that quickly, my feet jumped onto another path. I had been in pain just that long, that I abandoned the fact that God was still there for me. I just didn't believe it because I didn't see Him. I didn't feel His presence anymore. I felt the euphoria from that pill and all my pain was washed away. My life was forever changed and I made choices that I wish I could take back. To be continued...

Recent Posts

See All

You loved me first You sent Your Son to die for me You saved my life in more than one way You gave me multiple gifts You are transforming me You are holding me together You are leading me in a life of

Several years ago I wrote a piece on choosing a church home. From the tone of my writing maybe you could tell I was angry. Oh, but what a mighty God I serve. Over a year ago I joined a church that cha

Sometimes we make choices that we feel are right for the moment or they satisfy a desire that is temporary. I have done that over and over again. Before I got married, while I was married and even whi