Down the Rabbit Hole: My Addiction Story Part 3

I have had many moments of active addiction and moments of sobriety. Honestly, those moments of sobriety were only because I didn't have access to the drug I wanted. I didn't think about the probability of addiction when I first started taking narcotics. I was so ignorant about pharmaceuticals, well, all drugs for that matter. I didn't have constant access to those types of medications, so I didn't have enough time to develop an addiction. Fast forward to nineteen years old; that is when I truly fell into the rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland. Before nineteen, I was peeking down the hole.

By the age of eighteen, I tried very weak narcotics and marijuana. The smoking didn't start until my senior year in high school. I can't even say I was pressured into it. I just did it because I wanted to and because I was curious. At nineteen, I was no longer smoking because I didn't have access to it. I also wasn't as fond of the feeling it gave me. Narcotics were what I was hungry for. I moved on to something a bit stronger...Percocet.

I remember the first time I took one; it didn't do what I was so eagerly expecting. The other two that I had, I flushed them down the toilet. Why??? Chile, I don't know. I thought they were worthless pills that did absolutely nothing! Oh, but Tabria couldn't just stop there. I had to try it again, and needless to say, I was a goner. I had already acted in ways that I wouldn't have had I not started down this road, but things worsened.

When I didn't have access to pills, I started scouring the internet for things that could get me high and change my mood from the deep depression I was into feeling light and airy. I wanted no cares or worries, no trauma coming back to haunt me, and no rejection popping up in my psyche. To be continued...


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